Dipping my toes back in...

So, it's been a couple of years since I was here.  A busy couple of years.  And to be honest, I'm not sure if this space or this format even feel right any more.  Sometimes getting things out there feels honest and brave.  Sometimes it feels over-exposed and self-indulgent.  Right now, I'm not sure which. 

But there's time to figure all that out.  It doesn't have to be tonight.

What I do have to share, my friends, is my Word of the Year.  Time to make the commitment to focus on one word that will unite my goals for the year.  And this year's word?

Listen

Ironic that I'm speaking/writing about listening.  But the truth is, I'm afraid that being an active, involved listener in my life hasn't been happening like it should.  I succumb easily to all the distractions of the electronic world, or am busy formulating my response before the speaker is even halfway through.  And I am the worst about it in my own home.

I have a quickly growing toddler who dearly needs his mama to be on the floor and involved in his play.

I have a middle son who finds himself feeling misunderstood both at school and at home, and who deserves to have me make a more serious effort at hearing what he has to say. He is brilliant, and I would learn a lot just from listening to him share his curiosities.

I have an oldest who is entering the stage where much less is said, and so much more is happening internally.  But through his actions he is shouting, and I need to slow down to notice and hear him. There is also a much greater need to manufacture happy accidents of alone time where he is more inclined to open up.

And I have a husband whom I have gotten in the habit of brushing off.  Not because I'm trying to be rude - in fact, what I usually brush off are his offers of help and support.  And then, because I am not truly hearing them, I feel alone and in need of help.  Help that I have been ignoring.

Then there's the greater community and world.  So many are in desperate need that I get overwhelmed by not knowing where to start.  But I have faith that if I do a better job of listening, simple, small actions that have meaning will appear. Listening to those who are in need will put me in a better place to be able to help.

And finally, I need to listen to myself.  My body, and its need for better food and more movement.  My brain, and its need for both stimulation and relaxation.  And my heart, and its need for community and shared conversations with those I love. I ignore my own needs to often, and I need to listen to myself better, too.

So, listen.  I know I have a lot to learn.

Have all the parenting answers? Please share!!

Oh, the hard road that is parenting.

Today I'm just going to lay it out there.  Be real.  Share the dark, embarrassing stuff. Not because I want to shame my children or embarrass myself, but because I so appreciate the ability of those around me that are able to do just that - put it out there and trust that those who really love you will understand.

Because sometimes parenting is hard.

I have amazing children.  The baby?  Right now he gets a pass in all of this.  He can do no wrong.  But that's only because he really can't do much of anything. It's the other two. They are intelligent, curious, athletic, funny, and so many other things that it sometimes amazes me just how great they are.

But they aren't always great.

Two weeks ago, the middle one got a referral for punching another student in the "privates" on the bus.  Both boys did it, both insist it was a game. Still not ok.  And then, upon being asked about it, my child lied to me about what happened.

Yesterday, the oldest one also got a referral on the bus for a "game" where he and another boy ended up spitting on each other.  Not ok - but not malicious.  Until he argued with the adult in charge about it.  And then that same child who insisted he learned his lesson yesterday HIT another child in anger today at their school science fair.

It's been a rough time of self-reflection for this mama.  My first thought is "where did I go wrong?"  What did I do as their parent that lead to these actions of lying, arguing and hitting?  We send them to schools that emphasize peace and kindness, yet their behavior doesn't exhibit that.  We talk constantly about being our best selves, living lives of kindness, and respecting others.  And I do believe that it isn't just talk - that their dad and I work hard to model those values in our daily lives. So, why isn't it getting through?  Why are we seeing these behaviors?  And are my kids those kids that other parents talk about?!

I wish I came to this blog tonight with the answers.  The post that goes viral with the solutions that everyone needs. But, um, nope.  Not gonna find that here.

What you are going to get is a mama who's questioning.  Who doesn't have the answers.  Who doesn't know if there are answers.

I'm not ok with the "Boys will be boys" mentality.  I will not let them excuse away poor choices on their gender. But I also know that as their mom, I will not ever understand what it is to be in their skin, and if nothing else, they have taught me from the moment of their births that boys ARE just different creatures. So I'm left stymied with trying to figure out how to best help them grow into the men I want them to become.

 I want them to be honest.  I want them to be in control of their bodies.  And I want them to be kind. I want them to figure out how to recognize and acknowledge their emotions without necessarily acting on them.

But I also need to find out what they want.  Who they want to be.  What they value most in themselves and want in their future. 

I need to do more listening.  Need to build in more moments where we have the time for them to be honest about their feelings and we can work out together how to deal with them.  I need to talk with them about values and how we constantly strive to do better than we did today - so they know that we are all working to become the people we want to be.

And finding that time is hard.

But it should be a little easier now that they've lost video games and such... ;)

Ah, parenting.  Why do you have to be so hard?

Five for Friday

Five for Friday

1.

This one loves his cat.  And the cat loves him.  

There's a serious mutual admiration society going on here. It's perfect for those days when they each feel a little neglected.

 2.

 These three. The oldest two really dig the little one.  The little one isn't so sure what to think, but he'll come around.

 3.

 The smiles. Oh, the smiles.  They kill me.

 4.

 Sunshine. This was driving home last week, but we've had several blue sky days lately, and in a Portland January, that's a lovely, lovely thing.

 5.

And who doesn't love sleeping ninja baby?

There you have it.  Five recent shots of our daily lives, inspired by my friend Emily. Go check hers out at http://emilys-little-world.blogspot.com/2015/01/five-for-friday-us.html. She's fabulous.

Gentle hope for a new year

I've just finished peeling potatoes for dinner, and Simon and Garfunkel are playing on the computer.  Cuddled on my chest in the ring sling is our youngest at a still-very-fresh 7 weeks old.  It's New Year's Eve, and as usual, my heart is in the mood for some reflection.

For several people dear to me, 2014 was a hard year.  In some cases, harder than anyone should have to deal with, with tests of will and faith beyond belief.  For many, there were hard loses, and frustrating setbacks.  I watched those around me suffer with the challenges that life threw their way.  And if you ask them tonight, they can't wait for that clock to tick us right into 2015.

What they may not realize is how much they gave the rest of us this year.  Those of us for whom life was a little smoother, less potholes in the road.  Because while we held on and stayed the path, they showed us what it takes to really live the human experience.  They showed us what it takes to be brave and just get up every morning.  They modeled grace in the face of awful adversity.  They grew and strengthened their inner selves, and are leaving this year tougher and better than they started it.  And generously, they helped those of us watching grow a little more too.

I was one of the lucky ones this year.  My road was smooth, my path to walk this year was filled with sunshine and flowers. And it was only through the contrast with the darkness others were experiencing that I could see just how much light I was given.

This year my boys were healthy and strong, growing in their convictions and their knowledge.  They left two wonderful classrooms to join two more that are bringing them great joy. Dan left one good, solid, challenging job for another rich in opportunities he never expected.  I have gotten to share my work life with incredible students and their families, and my personal life with friends who are a warm blanket of support.  Our families are thriving and growing in their many journeys.

And in the biggest blessing of all, we welcomed our third child this fall.  In a very short time, he has had a major impact on our family.  He has helped us to slow down, to take in each moment.  Each new look or smile or coo draws us in and helps us to refocus on each other.  He has made his oldest brother gentler and more selfless, and helped his second brother find strength in having someone to guide.  While the 7 year gap was not what we probably ever would have planned, it has been a refreshing lesson in enjoying each moment because we know just how quickly they pass. 

It is this slower pace, this attention to the moment at hand that I hope for us to carry into the new year.  My word for this year (as I've chosen in the past) is content.  Not because I want to be lazy, but because I want to take the time and just be satisfied with all that I have been given.  In the constant search for the next, bigger, better thing to improve my life, I have often lost sight of just how great what I have truly is. So this year I'm going to work on curbing the wanting, the desiring for the thing out of reach. I am going to be content with all that I have right here.  Right now.

And for those for whom 2014 was awful, may this year be more gentle.  May the strength and resiliency that you have gained get to take a back seat for a while in exchange for some joy and peace.  I hope that wonderful things come to you and that your faith in the goodness of the world and of others can be restored.  And if the bumps keep coming, please let me be there for you.  Allowing me to travel your road along side would be a gift.

Poor, neglected blog...

Oh, dear.  February?!  February was the last time I posted here? Ugh.

I'm a person of habit, and when I fall out of one, I tend to fall big. And so it goes with writing.  And posting.  And actually taking time to focus in on the things most important to me.  For some people, a break from blogging or journaling gives them the peace that they need to get back on the track they want to be on.  For me, it almost does the opposite.  I lose focus, stop noticing the little important every-day things that mean so much to me.

Last winter was a tough one, and focusing on the positive was what I should have done.  But it's just not where my head was at the time. And forcing it felt fake and hard and not worth the effort or energy.  But then the spring brought great joy, and I still didn't stop to appreciate it.  It felt like if I held it too hard, cared too much, than it would all slip away.  And summer.  Oh, summer, season I love and season that sucks every bit of energy for reflection right out of me.  It's too sunny and busy for me to get back to writing, if I'm not already doing it. 

But now it's the end of fall.  The time of year when I'm naturally drawn inward, ready to do some examining.  And by now, my mother (Hi Mom!!) is the only one who checks here anymore to see if something might magically appear. But that's ok.  I'm writing for me, for my children.  For that push to stop and appreciate the great things that are so plentiful in my world. It's what I need.

SO, it might be time for a little catch-up.  Or maybe I'll just let it all go, those months past. We'll see.  But I'm dipping my toes back in the water. 

The work/life balance right now...

Tsh of The Art of Simple has a new book coming out tomorrow focused on the importance of slowing down and living intentionally.  I look forward to reading it, and think that some of you may also be drawn to her message. 

But today she posted some writing/reflecting starters, and I thought that I might try and just take 15 minutes tonight to do a little "out loud" processing.  Come back soon for a little report on our weekend in Seattle if you would rather just hear about my amazing kids and fun adventures.  But stick around if you want...and feel free to add your thoughts in the comments!

So, here's the question I feel drawn to tonight:
  When it comes to your work, what is your definition of “enough”?

Oh boy.   That's a minefield right there.  Especially as I head into this week when our union will be taking a strike vote on a contract that diminishes my ability to do my job well.

I am a middle school language arts and social studies teacher.  Even after 15 years of doing this work, I could spend every waking moment lesson planning, grading, contacting families, supporting websites, researching latest methods, keeping up with literature, and generally thinking about the 32 students in my care. There are many times when I feel exactly like that is what I should be doing. Every child in my class is just as precious to their parents as my boys are to me, and that means they deserve my best every day we step foot into the classroom.

But there's the rub.  My boys.  If I give every bit of everything to my classroom, what do I have left for home?  Not much. But how can I be a good teacher if I don't do it all? And how can I be everything for everybody?  Because it seems like that is what all my fellow moms are asking themselves lately.  Even those who are "at home" - the balance feels impossible.

Very early on in this parenting gig, I learned that my personal work/home balance would have to shift.  A lot. I started by taking less work home.  It meant I had to give up a lot of the socializing with my colleagues so I could get more grading done during the work day.  There are MANY days now when the only people I speak to at work are my students, because the rest of the time I'm there, I'm grading or copying or planning or emailing.

I also learned that I couldn't read or research or try everything.  I had to find the methods that rang most true for me and my belief in the purpose of education.  And if that means I am not on the cutting edge of the latest and greatest technology or methodology, then so be it.   I still enjoy taking classes and trying new things, but not every bandwagon has me on it, and that saves me a lot of time.

But the biggest thing I have done to help find balance was switching to working halftime.  I work 5 mornings a week, and simply must leave at 11:30 in order to pick Luke up on time from kindergarten.  It puts an automatic limiter on the time I spend in the building and therefore, the time I spend working.  Because once we get home, I'm spending my afternoons working on the rest of our lives - soccer, gym time, errands, meal prep, house cleaning.  And when I am being mindful, I also get to "get a lesson on automobile building with magna-tiles" and hear all about the books the older one is reading in class. And the day goes by without the time to get back to the work of teaching.  Sure, I respond to parent emails after the boys are in bed, and quiet time is spent lesson planning.  But the simple factor of my schedule gives me greater balance than I ever could have asked for.

These limits mean that I am not the best teacher on the planet.  And there is definitely guilt that goes along with that.  Some days I'm not even sure that I am as good as I was a few years ago.  But I can say that I am a different teacher since becoming a mom.  I am more sympathetic to the pressures of homework on family time.  I understand that the children in my class don't always represent all the fabulous parenting they have had at home - but they are still so incredibly lovable.  I understand the vital importance of school and home working together.  Because I have a busy and rich life away from the classroom, I can bring those stories to my teaching.  And there's nothing more that my students love than the days when my boys come and spend  the morning in the classroom.  SO some days, the balance works.

And sometimes, with a lot of hard work, time management, and a few fingers crossed, it feels like enough.

A new year, a new word...

Welcome to 2014.  Glad you could make it!

Speaking of making it, I'm going to be trying to make it here more often this year.  It's not that our family hasn't been going ahead with living a full rich life when I'm not blogging - but the truth is that if I don't take the time to write and reflect on it, then I forget about it.  There's too much great stuff going on to let it all go...

That brings me to one of my favorite traditions.  Since 2009, I have followed the advice of Ali Edwards and chosen one little word to guide my goals for the year. This last year was peace. More times than I can count, I found myself glancing down at my stamped bracelet and the word peace emblazoned there, and remembered to breathe, step back, and try to approach things a little differently.  Peace is a word that sounds passive, but required a great deal of deliberate action to make true in my life. I will certainly be continuing to wear that bracelet this year, since peace is something we all need a little more.

This year, I have chosen the word nurture.  It's really not all that different from the word I started this project with (cultivate), but I still have many of the same needs and goals for my life. While the sound of the word itself does not draw me in, the meaning certainly does, and it aligns and guides many of the goals I have for myself in the next 12 months.

Nurture:

1. Something that nourishes; sustenance.

2. The act of bringing up.

3. The sum of environmental influences and conditions acting on an organism.

1. To nourish; feed.

2. To educate; train.

3. To help grow or develop; cultivate

And here are my goals/resolutions that are guided by my desire to nurture:

1. I will nurture my children's interests and passions through listening and taking them seriously.  It's too easy for me to blow them off as child's play, and I want to make sure to hear what they are saying and encourage their loves. 

2. I will nurture my students' love for learning.  Help them find what they are interested in, and find a way to fit that into all the required-ness of the classroom.  They are interesting people and I want to nurture that in them, rather than drive it out with the hastles of testing and rules.

3. I will better nourish myself and my family, with a re-focus on healthy, whole-food meals.  With the hustle of the evenings, it's too easy to fall into the processed food trap, and I want to be better about pre-planning my way out of that.  What we eat truly nurtures our bodies and minds, and I want to do this better.

4. I will nurture my own interests.  Instead of defaulting to the easy sit-in-the-chair-and-watch-tv-and-read-facebook, I will pursue those things that I am interested in.  I will make another quilt or two, knit some new patterns, take more pictures, and write more.  I will read, read, read, and stop feeling guilty about it. 

5. I will nurture my marriage.  Dan and I will have our 15th anniversary this year, and I will treat our relationship as the priority that it is.  This means scheduling date nights,  working on more puzzles, playing more games, and making sure our evenings aren't always spent just being in the same room.

6. I will nurture my relationships with the boys as individuals.  Once a month we will have a date time where they will have my full attention.  These are some of our best times, and I don't want to miss them by not making them a priority.

7. I will nurture my friendships and relationships with family.  Making contact with those I love beyond the confines of facebook is important to me.  This means spending the time and money to gather together for girls' weekends and nights out, and then being the listener and support that I want to be for these important people in my world.

8. I will nurture my body with continued exercise.  While I have maintained good cardio exercise habits over the last couple of years, I know that the strength training aspect of being healthy has fallen by the wayside.  I will lift weights at least twice a week, with a goal of 3 times a week.

9. I will nurture myself as a professional through taking at least one class or participating in one conference.  This is not something I always enjoy, but something I know that I need to do this year.

10. I will nurture my heart and soul by making time each day for some quiet reflection.  Whether in prayer or journaling or blogging or hiking or whatever, I will take time to find the quiet that I need to find peace.  Even if it's just 5 minutes.  That's often 5 minutes more than I give myself now.  

So, there you have it.  My public declaration of nurturing.  Honestly, I can't wait.  

What are your goals/plans/words for the new year?

Oh, Canada!

After our trip to Germany, most of our summer was spent close to home.  But in August, the boys and I got to head to one of our favorite places - Ottawa.  I know, I know - it isn't exactly tops on most people's vacation destination lists.  But it should be.  It is a beautiful city surrounded by gorgeous countryside.  But more importantly, several of my favorite people on the planet live there - my sister Erin and her family. We were there for 9 days, and each one was filled with lots of great moments together.

The day after we arrived, we visited an amazing Star Wars exhibit that contained tons of cool memorabilia from the movies and an interactive element of creating your own Star Wars character based on different elements that make up a person's personality.  Of course, Max and Luke thought it was the coolest thing ever and loved talking to their cousins about all the characters.  I kept wishing it was closer so I could take my students there

The kids and their Star Wars personalities

Several years ago, my sister and brother-in-law bought a cottage and small island a couple hours outside of Ottawa.  We've been hearing all about their adventures in getting things cleaned up and sorted out just to their liking, and in more recent years about the fun they have had with the kids there.  This year was the first time we had gotten to visit.  Just like they had said, it was a beautiful spot on the perfect lake - a retreat from city life and a haven for outdoor play.  We hiked around, we roasted marshmallows, we swam in the lake.  But the absolute highlight of the trip for the boys was fishing.  They spent every minute they could out on the point practicing their casting and reeling in - and were rewarded many times over with lots of fish willing to go for a ride on their hook.  One morning Max managed to catch (and release) 13 fish in just over an hour.  It was incredible.  Luke even managed to catch two fish at the same time on one lure.  I'm not sure they will ever have as much fun fishing again - but (forgive the pun), they were totally hooked!

Two fish on one lure

Luke's first fish

Max's first fish

My adorable parents

My funny sister

Eventually we had to leave the cottage and head back to Ottawa.  We had a very special day to celebrate - my nephew Cormac's baptism!  It was a beautiful sacrament and we were all so impressed by the welcoming nature of the parish that Erin and Alex belong to.  I'm so proud to be Mac's godmother and thankful that we could be there with them.

We finished up our trip in grand style with a trip to Calypso, a water park just outside of Ottawa.  Many, many amazing water slides and perfect weather were a great way to end our time together.  The boys and I even slid on the highest slide in North America!  It was an incredible afternoon, and made saying our goodbyes even harder.








Leaving my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and nephews is always tough.  They are such generous hosts and the boys adore their time with their cousins.  Even just hanging out at their house is relaxing and fun.  The fact that my parents were there this time made it even better.  But after 9 days without Dan, we were ready to head home.  I'm afraid that if he had been able to come with us, we might never have come back.

Thanks, Erin and Alex, for an amazing time.  So many highlights of our summer happened this week.  We love you all, and can't wait to do it again!

Ahhh, Summer...

Oh, dear summer, where did you go? 

I head back to work this week, officially ending our Summer 2013.  It's been a good one - lots of sun and water and time with family and friends. In fact, there simply was too much for one post.  But I am going to give a greatest hits list, just so I don't forget all the fabulous things that filled our days.

1. Lots of pool time.  This was the summer that both boys really took off with their swimming, and their favorite place to be was the water park at the athletic club. Dan and I certainly didn't mind the time poolside, either.

2. A daytrip to the beach - bumper cars in Seaside, sand play in Cannon Beach, dinner at Mo's.  Many of our weekends were preplanned, but this was a great spur-of-the-moment trip. 

3. Girls' weekend in San Fransisco - I got the chance to fly down and spend the weekend at a spa and winery celebrating the marriage of my amazing sister in law.  It was a beautiful weekend and some much needed me-time.

4. Rodeos - The boys continue to enjoy a good rodeo, so we hit a couple.  We went to St. Paul and the Deschutes County Fair.  I love seeing my boys enjoy a little of the country life.

5. Family Reunion - My mom's family got together for a great weekend in Central Oregon.  I finally got to meet my cousin's little one, and it is always wonderful to spend time with my aunts and uncles and cousins. We watched my dad ride in the fair parade and played on the party boat down at the lake.  But perhaps my favorite time was hanging out with my great aunt.

6. Max's 8th birthday - What a lucky boy - he got to go to Seattle with his grandparents to watch a Mariner's game, celebrate at the family reunion, and then have a party with 10 friends at the pool.  I can hardly believe he's 8 already, but taking the time to celebrate him is always fun.

7. Soccer - Max is now playing year-round soccer with TFA Barcelona.  On Tuesdays he had summer escola, Thursdays were practice.  They also played in a tournament in July. He is still loving it, and the time at practice gives me plenty of time for reading, and gives Luke and Dan some quality time together at home.

8. Berry picking - The boys and I spent time out at Sauvie Island picking berries and peaches.  Luke was a great helper this year, and we've all enjoyed the raspberry-marionberry and raspberry-peach jam.

9. Backyard camping and campfires - This was one of those things we didn't do nearly enough this summer, but the times we did were sure enjoyable.  Max and Luke even spent the night out alone!

10. Time together - One thing we had plenty of this summer was time together.  The boys and I were together nearly all day every day.  There were plenty of fights, but there was also a lot of lego and soccer and baseball and blocks and playmobil play that happened.  We shared trips to the zoo and OMSI, to parks and playdates with friends.  Dan and I saw John Prine at the zoo and we celebrated our 14th anniversary. The boys went to vacation bible school and we all celebrated the 4th of July with friends. We ate picnics and went to a Portland Thorns game.  And it was all better because we did it together.

It's been a good summer.  Lucky to have it.  Not quite ready to give it up. But for now, I am just remembering to be thankful.

Summer day at the beach...

Summer weekends are precious, and when one magically opens up with nothing on the agenda, you have to take advantage of it.

When Max's soccer tournament got canceled last weekend, we were bummed - for about half of a second. We do love watching him play - but it was going to be a minimum of three games on a weekend when the temperatures were going to be in the upper 90's (a rare occurrence around here).  And having two empty days before us was so exciting. We decided to fill Saturday with a day trip to the beach - slightly cooler temperatures, sand and surf, and maybe some yummy seafood.

We began by driving to Seaside to hit the bumper cars, first.  It had been a couple of years since we had been there, and Max had begged all last summer to go. After the first round, Luke decided he had enough, and he and I watched Max and Dan go another round of bumping and crashing and grinning. Then it was off to sushi and the book store. 

Our favorite place to play on the sand (that's within super close driving distance) is Cannon Beach - it's beautiful, there's lots of space, a bathroom is nearby, and we can always wrap up the day with dinner at Mo's. Even though there were a lot of people there, we had no problem finding a great space to set up camp and begin our afternoon of fun. There was a lot of digging, some sand castle work, some reading (for the parents), and lots of time in the ocean.  This was actually the first time that Luke has ever enjoyed playing in the ocean!  He loved running back and forth with Max and splashing in the waves.  Honestly, the water felt as warm as I ever remember the Oregon coast part of the Pacific feeling.  We got more wet than we expected, but it was nice to be able to play in the water without frozen feet!

Wrapping up with dinner at Mo's and fudge for the drive home, we were all more than a little blissed out.  A summer day at the beach is pretty tough to beat.

Our trip to Germany...

{Warning: this is a looooooong one, but I couldn't help it!  Please forgive me and I understand if you don't make it all the way through!)

When my sister-in-law got engaged this past winter, we were all very excited.  We've never seen her so happy, and we adore her fiance. The news got an added element of fun when we found out that we would get to go to Karlsruhe, Germany for the wedding. Due to the timing (the end of the school year), the plans (lots of "adult stuff"), and the expense, it was decided that it would be a trip for just Dan and I, while the boys stayed home with my amazing parents.

Aside from buying plane tickets, Dan and I didn't do a lot of planning for our time until just a couple of days before we left town.  We wanted to be available if Carrie and Zouhair needed a hand with anything, so we didn't want to be to tied to other plans.  But on arrival we realized we had about 4 days to spend playing tourist, and 3 days of wedding/family stuff.  It was great.

Except for the weather.  This May/June, southern Germany has been experiencing a highly unusual amount of rain and cold temperatures, leading to lots of flooding.  As we arrived on Sunday in a torrential downpour, it looked like all of our possible ideas for sightseeing would need to be revamped for lots of museum-going. We were both a little bummed, but wanted to still take advantage of our time there. We decided to wait and see what the morning would bring and make plans then.

Well, someone was looking out for us, because Monday morning dawned with just some overcast skies, and potential for clearing later.  After meeting up with Carrie and Zouhair to say hello (and borrow a phone with a data plan), we went and rented a car for two days. Our cute little Ford Fiesta and a GPS all of a sudden make things seem much brighter.  At Zouhair's recommendation we headed off to Strasbourg, France, just across the border from Karlsruhe.  There we got to visit the Notre Dame de Strasbourg, am amazing cathedral with the types of windows and architectural features I had just spent a month teaching my students about.  It was incredible.  We also enjoyed crepes and wine, and wandering around the old city. It didn't rain a bit, and we spend several hours just checking out shops and oohing and ahhing over everything.

We left Strasbourg early enough to hit another destination recommended to us by both a waiter and our hotel desk clerk as a cute little German town in the Black Forest - Freudenstadt.  We got there about 5:00, and began our search for dinner.  After some sightseeing/restaurant checking-out, we ended up at a beer hall where I had the most amazing kasespaetzle  of my life.  But perhaps the best thing about Freudenstadt was the drive there and back.  Winding through the hills and forests and tiny towns that look like all the pictures in the storybooks was a perfect way to spend the evening.

Despite the potential for rain, we used our second day with the rental car to go to Rothenburg.  Rothenburg is a Medieval walled city about 2 hours away from Karlsruhe.  Everything about the old city is quaint and perfect.  One expected a character from a fairytale to come skipping down the lane at any moment.  The old castle gardens were blooming and the window displays of schneeballen (basically pie dough wadded up and covered in a variety of sweet coatings) and sausages were very alluring.  Perhaps my favorite thing there was the Medieval Crime and Punishment museum.  I loved learning about all the amazing/terrifying/humiliating ways that people could be punished. We even got lucky enough that despite the weather reports, it was a beautiful sunny day.  Again. 

Day three brought the return of the rain and the arrival of Dan's parents.  We stayed in Karlsruhe and went to the ZKM Museums of contemporary and media art.  There was so much to see - from very heavy and serious documentaries and photo collages to contemporary pieces I'm not sure I could explain if I tried.  We left feeling exhausted by it all, but found it really fascinating and well done.  For dinner, Carrie and Zouhair took us all to a flammenkuchen restaurant, for which I will now hate them forever.  It was so very delicious - and so hard to get in Portland. We were glad that Dan's parents had arrived safely, and were thrilled to be all together.

The whole family took the train to Heidelberg (yes, our third burg/berg/bourg) on day four.  Heidelberg is a short 45 minutes away and a very popular tourist town with a beautiful castle and gorgeous red-roofed city.  We all took the funicular up to the castle and wandered around, then rode back down into the city for lunch.  It felt great to all be joking and talking and spending time together in this beautiful city.  It felt strange without the boys there, but it was also nice to have adult time. We split up for a little after-lunch sightseeing, and Dan and I made sure to enjoy some ice cream (which Dan had been making sure to sample in every city). We met back up, took the train back home, and enjoyed picnic dinner at the hotel.

Friday began the wedding preparations - and in typical fashion, it rained like crazy all day.  (Take note - every day trip brought sun, all the in-town days brought rain.  We were so very lucky!) We went to the flat where Carrie and Zouhair were staying to help with a seating chart/map that they had created to show where all the guests were from.  It was amazing to see just how international this wedding was -  and lovely to see just how much the bride and groom were loved. Friday also brought the arrival of Uncle John, Aunt Linda, and Madhavi (Dan and Carrie's stepsister). Friday night also brought dinner with Zouhair's parents, sister, and brother-in-law.  The food was incredible, and the company was warm and kind.  The Belkoura family was so welcoming and genuine that it was easy to see how our Carrie had fallen in love with them also.

Saturday brought some much-needed souvenir shopping for the boys and a trip to the nail salon for pedicures and manicures for several of us.  While it took much longer than expected, the time to sit and talk was always appreciated.  We were then invited out to  Zouhair's family home to help celebrate his

grandmother's 85th birthday.  We got to meet many of his aunts and uncles and cousins, and they were so generous of spirit.  We felt very welcomed, and stayed much longer than planned enjoying great conversation and amazing food prepared by Z's mom. Did I forget to tell you about how it rained?  Buckets.  So much that even this Portland girl was amazed.  The possibility for an outdoor wedding ceremony was looking smaller and smaller by the moment.

So imagine our surprise when Sunday (the day of the wedding) dawned with the most beautiful blue skies we had seen all week.  It just fit.  The wedding would be outdoors, it would all go according to plan, and the day would be the perfect day that my amazing sister-in-law deserved. She kindly invited me over to the flat to get ready with her, her mom, and her good friend, and we spent the time talking and joking and being entertained by the hair/makeup people and the photographers.  She was a radiant bride, and it all went so smoothly.  At the appointed  time we all headed over to the schloss (like a palace), finished getting her ready, and the wedding began.  I could recount a million of  the perfect details of it all, but suffice it to say that it was an event that I will never forget.  And the best part of all was how blissful both the bride and groom looked.  The party went on into the wee hours, and when we all began the walk back to the hotel, we were giddily exhausted.

Monday brought our return home.  While we were sad to be leaving the magic and beauty (and chocolate croissants) around every corner, I couldn't wait to get home to my boys. I missed them terribly, and realized that 9 days away from them is simply too many for me. Our travels home (by tram, then train, then plane, then car) all went very smoothly, and Monday night we arrived home to great greetings of love and hugs.  My mother was amazing, and we were so very thankful for the caretaking she did - and all of hte cleaning we found she had done when we arrived home.

It was an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime trip.  Fabulous food, amazing sights, wonderful people, and a magical wedding.  I got to share it all with my favorite person in the world.  What more can I say?!

Second day of summer

Summer has just begun, and with it I'm going to be dipping my toes back in these waters..It's a space I've missed, but haven't had the attention/intention to support for a while.  But as this rainy June day has called me to the computer and good reading, the desire to write has come also.

There's so much to share.  Maybe later today I'll even tackle the "Trip to Germany" post that needs to happen.  But for now, it's just going to be about this moment.

I know it sounds silly, but today I'm glad for the chilly, rainy day outside.  Summer sun would have called us to active, busy pursuits of swimming and running and gardening.  But instead we are content to spend the day in our pjs and with words and music at hand.

Luke woke up gently to the sound of a hungry belly and the call of wanting to make art.  While I assembled the requested ham and cheese croissant, he pulled out the easel and stamps and paper and set about making cityscapes and dinosaur tales.  All the while he narrated his play with delightful stories, only stopping when a particularly enjoyable song came on and he needed to dance.

Max stayed in bed as late as he ever has, and from the looks of him, he was busy growing during those extra hours.  He looks long and gangly, and so much older all of a sudden.  He cuddled in on the couch with a book and slowly woke to the day.

I have whiled away the morning catching up on an online world of inspiration that I have missed. Words of wisdom, crafts to tackle, pictures of darling children, and the musings of my friends.  It felt luxuriously lazy and like a perfect complement to yesterday's first-day-of-vacation errand running and chore doing. I've got a head full of crafting ideas to tackle and a heart full of words that inspire me to enjoy today.

It's been a lovely morning. 

Lessons Learned from being screen-free...

Last Monday we got an email from Max's school.  They were encouraging families to participate in "Screen-Free" week.  As I encouraged the boys to give up their 30 minutes a day, Dan jumped  in and said that we could all do it.

My first thought?  Panic.  Serious panic.

Because, far worse than my boys, I am a screen addict.  From the hour or two of TV at the end of the day to the hours spend on the computer, large parts of my life revolve around a monitor of one sort or another. And if it isn't the tv or computer, it's the iphone - a screen I always have with me, and one that has become my personal security blanket.

But I agreed.  I could do it.  It was only a week.  And we did make the caveat that we could continue to check email.

The first couple of days were the hardest.  And I did cheat one afternoon when I needed to make doctor, dentist, and hair appointments, and all the phone numbers (as well as my calendar) were online.  And I cheated again on Saturday when the recipe I needed was on a Pinterest board.  But other than that, I held true to my word. So what did I learn in the last week?

1. I am a creature of habit.  In the cars line at school pick-up, the first thing I did was reach for my phone.  When the boys went to bed at night, I almost automatically went to my chair next to the laptop and in front of the tv.  I spend a lot of time NOT thinking about what I am doing, but just following routine.  That is a habit I need to break.

2. My life is very plugged in.  My social life, my work life, and even the tools I need to manage my household all involve an internet connection.  In many ways it makes my days easier, and I rarely stop to appreciate the conveniences our life affords me. Screens aren't all bad.

3. Without screen-time, I have more time for other things I love.  I read a book, knitted, played board games, cleaned house, and prepared for the next day instead of scrambling at the last minute. While computer time or a great movie can be satisfying, there are many other things I could be doing for even greater satisfaction.

4. I felt like I actually SAW my children more.  And not just because they weren't watching TV. But without all of the distractions of screens, there was more time to notice the adorable freckles on Luke's nose and talk with Max about his newly-discovered enjoyment of baseball.

5.  It's easier to be screen-free when it's nice outside.  We had the most beautiful, summer-like weather all week, and really, none of us wanted to be indoors.  Sitting out on the deck  or riding bikes in the driveway, the time passed outside.  I think we all would have struggled more with this week if it were cold and rainy.

6. Screen-free didn't mean less busy.  Our schedules didn't magically open up into vast oceans of time to explore and craft and play.  We still had soccer and meetings, gym time and school work.  So going screen-free doesn't solve every ill. Life doesn't automatically become a idyllic oasis or calm.

7. But being screen-free did lead to less fighting.  Since they had more time to play together, the boys fought less so they wouldn't have to play alone.  And I fought with them less since they got more of my focused attention. Our house was more peaceful.

Overall, I'd have to say the week was a great experiment. Mostly for me. The boys are eager to be able to watch their 30 minutes a day again, but I am feeling a little less excited to return to old habits.  It was a wonderful time to re-calibrate, look at how we are spending our time, and find ways to be more intentional. My facebook newsfeed doesn't hold the same appeal when weighed directly against  a great book or backyard soccer game. After spending an hour today catching up, it was easy to close the computer and walk away. And after taking this few minutes to record my thoughts here tonight, I'm looking forward to turning the computer off and heading for an early bed time.

Are we throwing away the computers, phones and tv?  No.  But maybe, for a while at least, they'll play a smaller role in the life we want to be living.

A perfect day...

It doesn't happen often.  A day that is absolutely perfect.  But when it does, we have to  take notice.  Sit up and appreciate it.  And never forget.

On the first Saturday of February, we woke up to a beautiful, sunny, morning.  We puttered around, had breakfast, and began to think about the day.  We didn't have any obligations, and decided that we should take advantage of the beautiful weather.  But first, it was time for the gym.  After Zumba and Centergy (a pilates/yoga/stretching class), the boys and I headed home, eager to  figure out the afternoon.  While cleaning up, an idea struck.

The beach.

It had been months since we had been there, the weather was perfect, and there wasn't anything standing in the way (other than the fact that it is almost 2 hours away and it was already 1:00). I tentatively tossed the idea out there, and Dan was kind enough to take it up and agree.  In a quick whirlwind, we rushed around gathering snacks, sand toys, sweatshirts and jackets and boys. We were off.

Arriving at Cannon Beach, we headed straight to the sand.  In the shade of the famous Haystack Rock, we settled in to building our "biggest sand castle ever".  With all four of us working we built tower after tower, dug moats, and found driftwood and other shore treasures for decoration.  The sun was warm on our backs, and soon, shoes and jackets were removed.  It isn't often that we get to enjoy a 57 degree day on the coast in February, and we were taking full advantage of it.

For three hours, we dug, played, laughed.  Waves were chased.  Holes were dug.  Moments of perfection were frozen in our minds. Even when the waves came crashing onto our castle, it only made it more beautiful and mysterious.

We stayed until the sun set.  Buckets and shovels were packed up, sand was dusted off our feet, and we headed to the car.  The boys spent the evening telling us we had just had the best day ever. 

I have to agree.